How to be a better boyfriend/girlfriend?
This generation might be experiencing the most breakups in comparison to the past generations. The number seems to increase as the time passes by. But, what is the reason behind this? Are we losing our patience? Is social media affecting us? Are we too afraid to commit?
I think it is the combination of everything. Every single person and feelings in our environment are affecting the way we react to our partners.
You must have also experienced this before. Whenever you meet your friend at a bar or at a coffee shop and they comment about a specific thing in your partner. Although you ignore at that particular moment, it keeps coming back into your mind to haunt you. You might never have thought about this but when someone pokes you to focus on that, it just changes the way you look at your love.
The question you must ask is how are we going to tackle the circumstances and people in order to become the best boyfriend or girlfriend?
The question that should be asked is how are you going to tackle yourself?
The problem is not with the people or your environment. They have always been the same. Although they are playing a major role but it all comes down to just person and that is you. How you behave to certain things will result in what result you will get in return.
So, finally, what can be done? How can we bring those small changes to become a better version of our self?
There are few things that can be done to bring change in yourself because you cannot change the way people behave with you. The only thing you can do is change yourself.
1. Stop over thinking
Easier said than done. Everyone over thinks in one way or another. It is the fear of not able to control a situation which leads to overthinking. It may be work, family or exams. But, the worst of all is rethinking the conversation you just had with your partner.
This only happens when you expected something different from them, maybe a different reply or the level of excitement they showed at your promotion was less or even when it looks like they are ignoring you. The main thing is that it is all in your mind. None of that is real. You need to understand that and then act accordingly.
The only solution to this is knowing your thoughts. Control them. Don’t let your thoughts run wild. Meditation is the best way possible to put shackles to your unnecessary thoughts. It will bring your mind to peace.
Another thing that goes wrong in most relationships is trust. Most people believe that trust is way more important than love, in a relationship. I believe that too. You need to find a person whom you can trust.
Trust is not easily developed, it takes time. You can fall in love with someone at first glance but you cannot trust them until you know them inside out.
Trust works in weird ways. It actually combines with your problem of over thinking and will create various scenarios of your partner being cheating on you or he/she is giving way to much attention to someone else or they preferred their friends over you. There are billions of scenarios where you might doubt that your partner is wrong. But there is only one solution to this. Confront them. Say what’s bugging you right on their face but with a sincere approach. That’s the only way to make your relationship stronger.
One more thing that matters is, never judge a person based on their past.
3. Speak the Truth
This is the most difficult of all. Never lie to your partner no matter what. Things get rough always, every relationship goes through a rough patch but, if your foundation is strong then every difficult situation can be controlled when you both are together.
A strong foundation is built with trust and truth. If you are lying to your partner often, the chances are it will come out and when it does it will be nasty. You never want to be in such a situation. Don’t ever think that I couldn’t tell the truth at that moment. Every single time you have a choice and remember, you chose the wrong path by lying.
If your relationship is not working, something is off; something is missing, then tell your partner and discuss what is actually wrong. Chances are he/she must be feeling the same. It’s better to solve the problem between each other rather than being stranger to each other and looking for solutions outside.
These were the 3 things that I think can help you become a better boyfriend/girlfriend and save the relation that you once thought was breaking.
If you think there is something else that can be added to the list then let me know in the comments section. I would love to hear your suggestions and feedback.